<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Play Pretend by waytooshy</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24176581">Play Pretend</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/waytooshy/pseuds/waytooshy'>waytooshy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>ElsannaShenanigans Monthly Prompts [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Frozen (Disney Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Discord: Elsanna Shenanigans (Disney), Elsanna Monthly Contest, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Incest, Modern AU, Pining, Prompt Fic, Sibling Incest, Slice of Life, Written for a contest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:48:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,852</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24176581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/waytooshy/pseuds/waytooshy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Elsa comes to visit her sister after months of not seeing each other. She does not expect Anna's peculiar request. [Written for Elsanna Shenanigans April 2020 monthly prompt]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anna &amp; Elsa (Disney), Anna/Elsa (Disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>ElsannaShenanigans Monthly Prompts [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1063928</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Elsanna Shenanigans Monthly Contests Submissions</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Play Pretend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story was written for Elsanna Shenanigans April 2020 Contest with the prompt being stay (word limit: 300-7000). Please check out elsanna-shenanigans on tumblr for more information on the monthly prompt contests or join us on discord at discord.gg/TU9NpnH</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re here!”</p>
<p>Elsa couldn’t even take a breath to answer before her sister launched herself at her, arms flying to grip tightly around her shoulders, chest flush against her own while Anna’s messy hair obscured her view of the inside of the apartment.</p>
<p>“A-Anna–”</p>
<p>She stepped away even quicker than she jumped in, if that was at all possible, and Elsa almost lost her balance.</p>
<p>“Oh my god, did I hurt you?”</p>
<p>“No, no, just… startled?”</p>
<p>“Sorry!” She grabbed Elsa’s hand and the handle of her suitcase and proceeded to pull both inside. “I just, I’m so happy to see you! I’ve literally been sitting by the window and looking out for your car–”</p>
<p>She stopped to look back at her when Elsa stopped in the middle of what she guessed was the living/bedroom/possibly kitchen as well, it was hard to tell between the papers, wrappers and clothes lining every surface.</p>
<p>“–instead of cleaning. But I can see you’ve noticed that already.”</p>
<p>Elsa blinked rapidly. “Really? It looks fine,” she lied, taking a cautious step over a hopefully empty pizza box.</p>
<p>“Oh, come on, no need to pretend you don’t care.” Anna shoved a pile of what looked like mostly socks off to the side to drag Elsa’s suitcase. “To be, like, totally, super, extra with a cherry on top honest I only woke up half an hour ago.”</p>
<p>Ah. That sounded familiar.</p>
<p>“I wanted to clean up in the morning cause I came back home yesterday so late I almost fell asleep in the doorway, but then I… overslept… cause I went to sleep so late…”</p>
<p>She stood Elsa’s suitcase next to an unfolded sofa with a nest of blankets on top, then made her way over to a fridge–so it was a kitchen too, after all–and took out a bottle of milk. She took a hearty swig straight from the bottle, and Elsa finally stopped trying to take in her horrifying surroundings and instead decided to focus on her sister.</p>
<p>Amidst the mayhem, dressed in the oversized t-shirt she apparently wore to sleep and the bunny slippers Elsa sent to her for Christmas Anna looked older and yet <em>younger</em> than she remembered her from a year ago, as impossible as it sounded. Living alone for the past year certainly took its toll on her–Elsa could see the dark rings under her eyes even from where she was glued to the middle of the room–but at the same time she looked... happy. Alive. Enjoying her freedom with no one telling her to do silly things like cleaning up.</p>
<p>“So, like, sorry about that. I plan to get this place in shape before we go to sleep, don’t worry.” She turned to look back at Elsa, wiping off a tiny milk moustache. “But first–”</p>
<p>“Where do I even sleep?” Elsa cut in. There were only two pairs of door leading out of this room, one that she just went through and the other to what she assumed was the bathroom. There wasn’t exactly any place for a ‘guest room’ in the tiny apartment.</p>
<p>“Here, with me.” Anna pointed to the nest. “Is that okay?”</p>
<p>“Sure,” she answered a little too quickly, flexing her neck muscles to make sure she didn’t accidentally shake her head.</p>
<p>This was normal. Anna was her sister. Sisters sometimes shared beds. It was okay. She could do that. She <em>could</em> do that. She really wished Anna had told her before. She’d have stayed at a hotel. Or not come at all. She could <em>not</em> do that. Not for a whole night. Anna wanted to torment her. Anna didn’t kno–</p>
<p>“Yeah, but before I clean,” Anna’s voice brought her back to the main plane of existence, “I kinda promised my friends we’ll meet them up for brunch.”</p>
<p>“Brunch?”</p>
<p>“It’s like a late-breakfast-slash-early-lunch kinda thi–”</p>
<p>“I know what brunch <em>means</em>, Anna,” she said a little too impatiently, still shaken by her own internal monologue, but Anna didn’t seem to mind much. Or at all. She put her milk back in the fridge and scratched her butt like she had no care in the world. “I meant… your friends want to have brunch with <em>us both</em>?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Anna shrugged. “They wanna meet you. I told them about you, and I told them you’re visiting.”</p>
<p>She got over to one of the clothes piles and picked up a pair of jeans. Elsa felt a headache brewing.</p>
<p>“And they just wanna meet you.”</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>“Okay, so they don’t just wanna meet you,” Anna said hurriedly, lowering her voice as if anyone could hear them while they sat in her car parked a few paces away from the destination cafe. “I mean, they don’t just wanna meet <em>you</em>. Not a full lie. Still sorry.”</p>
<p>Elsa sighed.</p>
<p>“But they wanna meet the <em>you </em>I need you to <em>be</em>.”</p>
<p>“Anna, I have no idea–”</p>
<p>Anna put a hand up to silence her, which normally she’d react <em>strongly</em> to, but right now she was tired, nursing a headache that didn’t pass and only got worse as she watched Anna get ready, and honestly just wanting whatever explanation her sister had to offer.</p>
<p>“So, I have these friends,” Anna started, and Elsa already had to force herself not to say <em>get to the point</em>. “Really nice peeps. Met them in various classes and we all kinda flocked together, went out together, drank, danced, shared memes, you know the likes.” She didn’t know the likes, but she didn’t want to interrupt out of fear Anna would actually try to explain. “And like, when we met we were all single. Just a bunch of sad gays who just moved in the city and didn’t really know anyone.”</p>
<p>Elsa nodded.</p>
<p>“Right, but over time people started getting together, in and out our group, then some couples fell apart, but then bounced back, and–” she noticed Elsa’s expression “–and the details are not super important. What is is that around four to five months ago I was the only one left single.”</p>
<p>Elsa nodded again.</p>
<p>“And because they <em>cared </em>for me,” Anna continued, “my friends started to set me up on dates with some of their other friends. Or attempted to set, really, cause I usually turned them down or straight up didn’t go.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Cause I didn’t want to.”</p>
<p>“And you couldn’t just tell them that?”</p>
<p>“I tried!” She let out a long sigh. “But it didn’t work. They were being super pushy, so in the end I kinda…”</p>
<p>She trailed off, looking at a group of pigeons frolicking about on the pavement in front of her car.</p>
<p>“You kinda?”</p>
<p>“I kinda… lied. Again, sorry. Full lie this time.”</p>
<p>Elsa pinched the bridge of her nose. The car was beginning to heat up from the sun, and she’d much rather get out, get to the cafe, eat quickly and get this over with. Then maybe spend some quality time with the sister she hadn’t seen in a year while watching her clean up her apartment while avoiding getting dragged into doing it for her. “Why are you telling me about this now?”</p>
<p>“Cause I need you to follow along.”</p>
<p>Of course. “Right. What did you tell them?”</p>
<p>“That I have a long distance relationship.” She sighed again and rested her forehead against the steering wheel. “Obviously, they thought I was lying just to get out of the dates–”</p>
<p>“Which you were.”</p>
<p>“That’s not the point. They didn’t believe me, but they were acting like they wanted to believe me, but just clearly seeing through my lies, you know?”</p>
<p>Elsa didn’t know.</p>
<p>“So I needed a solid proof.”</p>
<p>That clicked better.</p>
<p>“You need me to tell them you have a girlfriend back home, or something like that? I can do that.”</p>
<p>“No, Elsa, I–”</p>
<p>“I can say that I met her. Did you use any name?”</p>
<p>“Elsa–”</p>
<p>“I could even pretend that she’s my college friend. Or childhood friend. She was in love with you for years but could only act on her feelings once you moved across state–”</p>
<p>“Elsa.” Anna’s voice was a little sterner, and her expression <em>much</em> more serious. “I told them my girlfriend was going to visit.”</p>
<p>Elsa blinked. “Y-You want me to… stall them? Tell them she couldn’t come after all but she still very much exi–”</p>
<p>“No, I– I told them that she– that <em>you</em> are visiting.” She looked her straight in the eyes, while the cogwheels in Elsa’s brain were going into red hot overdrive. “I need you to be my girlfriend.”</p>
<p>
  <em>One heartbeat. Two heartbeats. Three, then four, five, six, seveneightninetwelvetwenty–</em>
</p>
<p>“WHAT!?”</p>
<p>The pigeons flew away.</p>
<p>“Els, please, calm down.”</p>
<p>“Calm down!?” She yanked her hand away when Anna tried to hold it. “Anna, I’m your <em>sister</em>, you can’t just have your friends think I’m– we– are you out of your <em>mind</em>?”</p>
<p>She should run. Just get out of this stuffy car and away from Anna, away from the city, back to her own safe, clean apartment. She should not have come here. She should <em>not</em> have come.</p>
<p>Undeterred, Anna reached past her shaking hands and arms, then caught her chin and forced her to look up.</p>
<p>“Elsa,” she said softly, tightening her grip when Elsa tried to move away. “I’m only <em>asking</em> you. You can say no.”</p>
<p>Elsa mumbled something in response, but even she wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be words.</p>
<p>“You can wait here, or even take the car and go back to my place, I can walk after I’m done and we can spend the rest of the evening like nothing happened.”</p>
<p>Elsa shook her head. Something <em>did</em> happen, something that broke through a wall she’d put up years ago, something she had no idea how to deal with it right here and now in this car, or in Anna’s apartment, or when talking to her ever again.</p>
<p>Something Anna didn’t know, and she probably didn’t think much of what she just asked.</p>
<p>“But,” Anna continued, oblivious to just how much was going on behind Elsa’s worried expression. “If you’re just worried about my friends knowing you’re my sister, I can assure you they won’t.” Elsa furrowed her brows, and Anna cleared her throat. “N-not that I didn’t want to tell them ever, I maybe even have mentioned I have a sister once or twice, but they know virtually <em>nothing</em> about you.” She let go of Elsa’s chin and instead grabbed one of her shaky hands. “Family wasn’t a favorite subject for a bunch of them, so we just avoided it altogether.”</p>
<p>There was that, at least. If they didn’t talk, then the friends might not catch on to the fact that they literally <em>looked</em> very much alike.</p>
<p>Who was she kidding.</p>
<p>“No pressure though.” Anna gave her hand a squeeze.</p>
<p>“Why did you only tell me now?”</p>
<p>“Honestly? I thought it wouldn’t bother you much.” She shrugged. “Well, <em>that</em> much, and I thought if I brought you here already you’d be hungry enough to agree.”</p>
<p>Elsa glared at her.</p>
<p>“Which I now realize is a shitty move.”</p>
<p>Elsa nodded.</p>
<p>“But then… I saw your reaction, and I’m just… sorry. I’ll go there and deal with it myself.”</p>
<p>Or they could go there, pretend to be together, eat a light brunch and Elsa could be calm and unbothered, like most sisters probably would in this situation.</p>
<p>She could be normal.</p>
<p>She could at least <em>pretend</em> to be normal.</p>
<p>To hell with it.</p>
<p>“I’ll do it,” she squeaked out.</p>
<p>Anna’s face lit up. “Really?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. But–” she hesitated. Did she really have to say it? It was probably a given. Anna probably didn’t even consider that possibility, and it’ll just make her sound weird. Weirder than this entire situation already was. She should probably say it, though. Just to be safe. Yup, just to be squeaky clean she should probably at least skirt the idea. “B-but no… no touching.”</p>
<p>Anna lifted her eyebrows. “No touching?” she asked, then tried to take her hand away, but Elsa’s grip tightened. “Ohh, like… sexy touching?”</p>
<p>Elsa’s face went hotter by a few degrees.</p>
<p>“Anna…”</p>
<p>“Sorry, couldn’t help it. Okay, none of that. Copy.”</p>
<p>“And,” Elsa stopped, her throat and lips dried out. “No kissing.”</p>
<p>Anna nodded vigorously. “No kissing.”</p>
<p>“Good.” Elsa took a deeper breath to try and steady her shaking limbs. “Good. Now tell me what you want me to tell them.”</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>She sat on the folded sofa, watching Anna move about like a trash-striking lightning, dragging behind a black bag big enough to comfortably fit a body.</p>
<p>“Damn, I can’t believe I lived like that,” she said between a McNuggets takeout box and an empty can of soup. “I’m surprised the trash didn’t try to take over.”</p>
<p>“I think it actually might have, it just realized you’re a benevolent ruler.”</p>
<p>Anna shot her a look. “Very funny. I was busy, okay? Lots of studying.”</p>
<p>“Obviously.” She picked up an organic chemistry textbook from a table she previously hadn’t even noticed next to the couch and admired the round, brown stains on the cover. “Lots of coffee too.”</p>
<p>“Yes, studying and coffee, the power combo.”</p>
<p>“Usually you’d want the textbook <em>open,</em> though.”</p>
<p>“Look, I–” She threw out an empty Gatorade bottle and looked around, almost swirled in her place and looked around again. “Actually, you know what, I’m done. I’ll save the snide remark for when I need it later.”</p>
<p>A few moments later, they were both sitting on the couch, in a clean apartment, Anna browsing Netflix in search for something they both would enjoy, and Elsa halfway lost in her thoughts.</p>
<p>“Thanks for today,” Anna said quietly, but it was still loud enough to pierce through Elsa’s daydreaming. She turned to look at Anna, but her eyes were still glued to the tv. “You kinda saved my… honor? Reputation? Life? I don’t wanna get overly dramatic, but it was a lot.”</p>
<p>Elsa laughed softly. “It was only mildly traumatizing, don’t mention it.”</p>
<p>It was <em>extremely</em> traumatizing. She was almost sure they contradicted each other with some answers, and she probably undermined one or two of her own stories as well. Anna’s friends were apparently a weird mix between a news reporter and a hungry wolf, even if they all tried very hard to make her feel welcomed in their circle.</p>
<p>She hoped she’d never have to repeat that.</p>
<p>“No, but really.” Anna finally chose a show, then quickly paused it and looked back at Elsa. “You were amazing. I didn’t know you were <em>this</em> good of an actress.”</p>
<p>Anna had no idea.</p>
<p>“I’m just glad it’s over.”</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>It was not over.</p>
<p>Over the next two weeks they managed to go on four group outings, two double-dates–those Elsa hated with a burning passion for the sheer amount of <em>intimacy</em>–had a bunch of visitors in Anna’s freshly-cleaned apartment and even hosted a small birthday party for one of the girls.</p>
<p>Elsa was spending more time being Anna’s girlfriend than being her sister. The latter was mostly reserved for some evenings, quiet mornings after or before outings/dates/parties and, obviously, nights.</p>
<p>The nights they spent sleeping together on Anna’s unfolded sofa bed. <em>Small, </em>space-efficient sofa bed.</p>
<p>Elsa couldn’t even remember the last time they were this close. Way before <em>the thoughts</em> started.</p>
<p>She kept lying to herself. Kept justifying the little things they did as aiding in Anna’s elaborate and apparently inescapable plot. The little touches as making sure her character stays believable. The little looks they shared, where she could almost see actual sparks fly as top-tier acting. The little moments they had when no one could even see them as rehearsal.</p>
<p>She kept telling herself she didn’t enjoy any of that.</p>
<p>Kept telling herself she was normal.</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>“I’m not sure about this dress,” she whined, trying to look herself over in the bathroom mirror, silently cursing Anna for never getting a full-length. She couldn’t even really see if the fabric didn’t fold weirdly around her hips, or if that shade of blue really went that well with her shoes once her legs were included.</p>
<p>Anna’s head popped through the open door immediately. “Oh my god.”</p>
<p>Elsa whipped around. “What?”</p>
<p>“Elsa, your dress…”</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“You look… uh, how do I put it…”</p>
<p>“Anna, just please–”</p>
<p>“You look gorgeous.” She grinned. “Marvellous. Breathtaking. I feel like a lowly peasant next to your royal blue ass.”</p>
<p>“Anna!”</p>
<p>“Sorry, I meant to say buttocks<em>.</em>”</p>
<p>“That’s not– get out of here.”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay.” She put her hands up and turned to go back into the room. “Can’t even compliment my sister-girlfriend like a normal person, jeez.”</p>
<p>Elsa’s hand froze halfway to her face, fingers flexing so hard around the lipstick she was holding she could almost hear it crack.</p>
<p>“Are you gonna be ready soon, though? We should be leaving about right now if we want to meet them outside the club.”</p>
<p>She let out the breath she was holding. “Yeah, give me just three minutes.”</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>She could almost hear Anna roll her eyes.</p>
<p>“Guys, PDA!” she shouted just loud enough to get over the music and through to the couple making out across the booth from them.</p>
<p>“Come on, it’s a gay club!” one of them–Elsa only met her briefly at the house party before and promptly forgot her name–shouted back, pointing to the decidedly gay occurences on the dancefloor. “<em>Everyone</em> is PDAing! You could try it too!”</p>
<p>Her partner tugged at her shirt and said something Elsa could neither hear nor read from her lips, then Anna’s friend shot them both a disapproving look before getting up and dragging her partner to the dancefloor.</p>
<p>Anna sat back on the leather sofa and crossed her arms. “Whatever,” she muttered, and the fact Elsa heard it over the beat was a painful reminder of just how close they sat, and just how flush Anna’s bare thigh was against hers.</p>
<p>Then Anna looked up at her and smiled, and suddenly there was at least one problem less in the world.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna get us more drinks,” she said, leaning over so that Elsa could hear her better, her breath tickling Elsa’s ear. “Any wishes, or do you trust my judgment?</p>
<p>Elsa swallowed. “Trust,” she managed through her clenched throat.</p>
<p>Anna got up, winked at her, and was gone in the crowd a few seconds later.</p>
<p>The booming music drowned out the pathetic whine that left her lips, and for what felt like the first time in a billion years she was alone. She could finally spare some time to think about Anna without having her thoughts corrupted by… well, Anna. Her smile and laughter. Her goofy jokes. The way she bounced around the room while they were waiting for the dinner to cook, or the way she furrowed her brows when focused on the game she tried to get Elsa into. Her voice. Her freckles. Her smell.</p>
<p>This was getting out of hand– no, it got out of hand the moment she agreed to pretend to be her girlfriend, and was only more out since. The no-touch rule was cast aside inch by inch, day after day, until they arrived at where they were just a few moments ago, with Anna’s arm around Elsa’s shoulders, Elsa reclining into her side. She should run. Get away from Anna and all of her friends. She’s already spent half of her planned visit time here, she got much more than she deserved. Maybe she could change her name. Leave the country. Start a new life somewhere in Euro–</p>
<p>“Hey there,” a husky voice just a few inches above her ear brought her back to reality and her heart to her throat. “You dance?”</p>
<p>She looked up at the woman. She had a pretty face, a seemingly toned body from what she could tell by the exposed part of her arms. Her skin shone with a thin sheet of sweat, reflecting the colorful lights in the club like a freaking Twilight vampire.</p>
<p>She could dance. Let herself be kidnapped from the safe booth and lose herself on the dance floor. Make sure Anna’s friends saw it, saw her dance, saw her kiss this strange woman with soft-looking lips. Make sure their <em>relationship</em> goes down in flames, so that Anna never lied and she was the monster who ruined their happiness before she could be the actual monster ruining their actual happiness.</p>
<p>“N-no, thanks,” she found herself answering instead, the skin of her thighs melting into the leather couch, fusing them together so she couldn’t leave.</p>
<p>“Awwh, that’s too bad,” the woman purred around a smile, making a move to sit opposite Elsa. “Could I maybe get you a drink, then?”</p>
<p>Elsa glanced to where the bar was, to where <em>Anna</em> was somewhere there in the crowd, but she couldn’t see her sister anywhere. “I’m here with someone,” she still answered quietly.</p>
<p>“Sorry? Couldn’t hear you over the music!”</p>
<p>“I said I’m here with someone,” she repeated louder, cold needles prickling the back of her neck.</p>
<p>“Sorry love, I think you’ll have to move–”</p>
<p>“She said she’s with someone!”</p>
<p>Anna’s face was something she’d never seen on her before. The twitch of anger in her brows she recognized from when she’d lose in a game or couldn’t find her keys, the grit of her teeth from when she stubbed her toe on the couch, but the look in her eyes was completely new. It was fierce. Dominant. Scalding.</p>
<p>It made Elsa’s insides turn.</p>
<p>The woman smiled and said something to Anna, before getting up and disappearing into the crowd.</p>
<p>Anna placed a tray with two colorful cocktails and six shots on the table, before sliding in on the couch right next to Elsa, their thighs together again, Elsa’s skin burning with yearn and the friction on the hem of Anna’s jean shorts.</p>
<p>They didn’t talk. They threw the shots, and for a few precious minutes they sipped the drinks, the strong taste of a whole lot of alcohol cutting through the fruity punch without resistance, numbing Elsa’s tongue and sense of self.</p>
<p>“Dance with me,” Anna’s words took a moment to register, while she watched her put both of the now empty glasses back on the table. Her hands were disturbingly empty for a moment, as if that glass she was holding was her tether to reality as much as Anna’s thigh, now gone as well, leaving her alone in the void until Anna’s hand caught hers and she was pulled back to life, breathing, feeling.</p>
<p>The people around were only ghosts as she brushed past them, following Anna–her sister, her sister Anna, her unbelievably beautiful sister Anna–to the dancefloor, never letting go of her burning hand as the thud of the bass mixed in with her heartbeat.</p>
<p>They found a spot, a little unoccupied nook in the walls of human flesh, so tight Elsa’s hips were pushed against Anna’s, or pulled against Anna’s, her little sister’s hands steady at the small of her back, then lower, gripping her flesh through the thin dress as if it never even existed at all. <em>Sexy touching </em>with a sly grin echoed through her brain, but that was a whole lifetime ago now and she could barely even remember there ever being a <em>no</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em>One heartbeat. Two heartbeats.</em>
</p>
<p>Then there was just one hand on her ass, and the other sliding up her stomach, her chest, the swell of her breast then higher, up her throat until it reached her jaw where it rested gently, fingertips tangled in her hair and a thumb brushing softly over her lips.</p>
<p>
  <em>Three. Then four, five, six.</em>
</p>
<p>Until the thumb got replaced by lips, warm and still against her own just before color she’d never seen before exploded behind her closed eyelids and the lips came to life, moving, brushing, pressing, gently, hard, needy. A tongue traced a wet trail on her bottom lip and she parted them, letting it in, letting her in and in the next second the taste of alcohol was mixing with something new, strange and exciting as muscle slid against muscle in and out of her, lazy and exploring just to become a ferocious beast in the next breath.</p>
<p>
  <em>seveneightninetwelvetwenty</em>
</p>
<p>The taste was intoxicating, her smell was intoxicating, and it all screamed <em>Anna, Anna, Anna</em> in her mind–</p>
<p>
  <em>million</em>
</p>
<p>Anna. Her sister Anna.</p>
<p>
  <em>zero</em>
</p>
<p>Her mind sobered up without waiting for her body, and she sloppily pushed away and stumbled through the crowd.</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>She started packing as soon as she got to the flat. With a heavy body and guilty mind, she made her way all over the living/bedroom/kitchen, dripping tears where she bent down to lift a piece of herself off the ground, off the shelves, out the drawers and the wardrobe, determined to leave no trace behind.</p>
<p>Like she’d never even been there in the first place. Like whatever happened was all a dream.</p>
<p>She heard a car pull up in front of the building and almost fell to her knees praying, begging for more time, just enough for a clear escape though she was a mess, her suitcase was a mess and the room was a mess.</p>
<p>The door opened, because nobody ever listened to her prayers.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” she simply asked, closing the door softly.</p>
<p>“Packing.”</p>
<p>She didn’t dare to look at her.</p>
<p>“You got in a cab before I could catch you.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“Are you leaving?”</p>
<p>Hot, heavy tears rolled down her cheeks.</p>
<p>“Elsa.”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>A choked sob. “Don’t.” Another. “Please.”</p>
<p>“I can’t–”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” she whispered, then footsteps followed and Elsa was frozen in her spot as she was nearing closer. “I-I know I shouldn’t have. I don’t know why–”</p>
<p>“No, Anna, I–”</p>
<p>“You told me not to. I crossed the line, I didn’t ask but god, Elsa, please, I <em>beg</em> you don’t go.”</p>
<p>Fury. “It’s not a fucking game, Anna.” She turned around to face her and almost lost it at her face. Broken, defeated. She balled her fists. “Not your play pretend anymore.”</p>
<p>“Els–”</p>
<p>The tears were leaving a trail of burning on her face. “D-Do you have any– any idea h-how much it <em>cost </em>me to <em>play</em> for you?”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry–”</p>
<p>“<em>I’m </em>sorry!” she screamed, pushing away when Anna tried to reach her arm. “I’m sorry for being <em>sick</em> and d-disgusting like this! I’m sorry I couldn’t have been the sister you needed me to be, and I’m sorry I couldn’t even help you and <em>stay</em> in the end but I’m just–” She heaved. “Just– j-just a monster. An abomination.”</p>
<p>Anna’s face went from sorrow, through confusion and to shock.</p>
<p>“Elsa, what the hell are you even talking about?”</p>
<p>Elsa collapsed down on the damned sofa.</p>
<p>“Did you know?” she asked, quietly, flinching but not fighting back when Anna sat beside her.</p>
<p>“Know what?”</p>
<p>She should run. Run and never look back. Run until she was out of breath, and then keep running still until her knees were worked to the bone.</p>
<p>“That I– had these…” What does one call a strike against nature’s laws? “F-feelings? For you?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t.”</p>
<p>She finally chanced to look back up at her again, but Anna was just smiling softly.</p>
<p>“How are you so calm?”</p>
<p>“Because,” she sighed, putting more weight on the hip closer to Elsa’s until their shoulders touched. “You’re my favorite person in the world.”</p>
<p>“<em>How?</em>”</p>
<p>Anna laughed. “I don’t really think I can answer that. I just–” She took a deep breath. “I love you.”</p>
<p>Elsa blinked, tears instantly smudging her vision. “Why? Why, after the things I–”</p>
<p>“I <em>love </em>you.”</p>
<p>Oh.</p>
<p>“Y-you can’t be serious.”</p>
<p>“I kissed you.”</p>
<p>“But–”</p>
<p>“I asked you to be my girlfriend.”</p>
<p>“Pretend.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, it stopped… feeling like pretending pretty fast.”</p>
<p>A few tears fell into Elsa’s lap. “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“No, I… Jesus, Elsa, I meant it in a good way. I liked it. I <em>loved </em>every second of you being my… girlfriend like that, and I <em>wished</em> so hard it could be true.” She turned to face Elsa fully, and pressed a hand between her shoulder blades. “And now knowing this I’m just… happy, I think. That it really, really could.” She rubbed tiny circles with the tips of her fingers on Elsa’s back. “I mean, we would have a hell of a lot to talk and work through, but it <em>could</em>.”</p>
<p>Elsa sniffled.</p>
<p>“I won’t kiss you again. Or hug you, or do <em>anything </em>to you unless you’re ready for it, and you’re able to tell me you are. But I love you, I swear I do.”</p>
<p>“I– love you, too.” She let out a shaky breath, and pushed a little harder into Anna’s shoulder. “And it <em>hurts</em>.”</p>
<p>“I know. It <em>is</em> a lot to unpack. But we’ll get through this,” Anna assured her with a smile. “But please, don’t go. I can’t do it without you.”</p>
<p>Elsa looked at her messy suitcase, then kicked it open with her foot. “I guess we could start unpacking with that?”</p>
<p>Anna laughed.</p>
<p>“Yeah, we could.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>